Thanks to CoverAwards for the GQ cover.
To promote Bruno, which comes out in three weeks, Sacha Baron Cohen decided to pose for the GQ cover in the character of Bruno, the impossibly ridiculous Austrian fashionista. Bruno is sort of like Ben Stiller’s Derek Zoolander, only more hardcore and really, really gay. Huffington Post is claiming that Sacha’s naked, waxed cover pose is “the same” as Jennifer Aniston’s GQ cover shot for the January issue, but seeing the two covers side by side, they just seem eerily similar, not the same. So I feel comfortable calling this a “spoof”. If it was “the same” Bruno should have spread his legs more, and tried to mimic Aniston’s doggy-posture.
Inside the magazine, Sacha does a full-on fashion photo spread that is just… I don’t even know how to describe this stuff. A cross between awesome and creepy. I think my favorite is Bruno on the back of a motorcycle being driven by some grizzled Hell’s Angel. But all of the pictures are pretty funny. For the interview, Sacha is totally in character too. GQ plays along, and the piece is written like Bruno is some kind of style advice columnist, and these questions are being submitted to him in “Dear Bruno” style:
Dear Brüno, is it okay to “manscape” down there?
It’s more zan okay; it is most essential. Be careful if you do it yourself, though–yesterday ich tried to self-wax mein arschenhaller und glued meinself to ze bed. Manscaping ist important, but not as crucial as getting regular anal bleaching.
Dear Brüno, I am all in favor of protecting the animals, but what is reasonable? I won’t wear fur, but do I need to give up my leather jackets or shoes?
Ich vant to make it clear: Brüno ist totally against vearing fur—it’s too expensive und high-maintenance. I mean, vhy don’t giant pandas have a label on zem saying zey’re not machine vashable? Regarding shoes und jackets, if you vant to be ein Leatherboy, zat’s fine.
Dear Brüno, how can I get some “Efron hair”? Or at least some “Pattinson hair”?
Ich vouldn’t bother getting a Zac Efron hairstyle right now, cos ich am about to change mine and he’s certain to copy me again. In terms of grooming, ze only thing he hasn’t copied me with ist getting his ballensack pierced—vell, he hadn’t had it done ze last time ich saw him.
Dear Brüno, how would you define “Obama style”?
Firstly, ich vant to say zat I find Obama an inspiration—it gives me great hope zat, after years of struggle, someone can at last get to ze White House, despite being incredibly hot. On ze other hand, it’s slightly disappointing that he needed zat beard, Michelle, to help him—but vone shtep at a time. In terms of his style, he perfectly bridges Serious und Sexy…Oval Office und Oval Orifice.
Dear Brüno, my wedding is approaching and I am desperate to impress my bride. What is appropriate groom’s attire for a Labor Day nuptial?
If Brüno vas about to be married to a voman, I’d be vearing a noose.
Dear Brüno, who are the other best-dressed world leaders of all time?
JFK. Obama. Castro. Timberlake.
Dear Brüno, what do you sleep in?
In reality, ich sleep in a seaweed body wrap under a Zac Posen Navy-Cut Nightshirt. In mein dreams, ich sleep naked in a giant reed basket drifting slowly down ze Nile, cradled in ze arms of Daniel Radcliffe.
Dear Brüno, the United States military is constantly trying to update its battle gear in the field. Are there ways you would modify the current uniform?
In mein country it’s verboten for ze soldiers to shtup each other—as ein result, to keep ze cravings at bay, over 80 percent of ze Austrian army vear Dickorette patches as part of zeir uniform. Army uniforms have to change; camo zese days ist ein total nicht nicht. I mean come on, it hasn’t been on ze runvays for over fourteen seasons now! For spring-summer 2010, ich vould put ze U.S. Army in bright pastels und slogan T-shirts, stuff like “Soldier Boy” or “Shoot Me from Behind.”
[From GQ]
Okay, I’m definitely going to start using “mein arschenhaller” in my everyday life. I hope that doesn’t become like Borat’s “ve-ery nice!” And I’m still giggling about “cradled in ze arms of Daniel Radcliffe.” Daniel will probably like that joke. He’s smart enough and funny enough to get it. But Zac Efron’s going to pissed that Bruno claims he’s copying!
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