Jessica Simpson Tries To Bribe Tony Into Marriage With $100,000 Speedboat But It's Just Not The Same

Yoko RomoAs the waterskiing they do at naughty time. But Jess is getting sick of the bukkake and wants a real commitment.

Don't let her acting or singing careers (or the lack thereof) fool you. Jessica Simpson is a money-making machine, with about a zillion products either with her name or a paid endorsement. That Papa Joe sure pimps it strong. She could go the rest of her life without picking up a finger and still have more money than all of us. Hardly seems fair.

But Jess doesn't give a shit about fair. Jess wants to be married again, and she figures the Romo is about as good as it's gonna get. He has stuck it out the longest, but that's only because she spoils him. Case in point: Jess bought Tony a $100,000 speedboat for his birthday. Probably paid cash, too.

But while Yoko Romo throws wads of money at her gridiron great, what's the rest of the family doing? Ashlee and Pete are drinking and brawling, and Papa Joe's down in the basement counting gold doubloons. They're not worried. They know she'll take care of them; she always has, and perhaps always will, if she finally chases the Romo away.

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